Real love is the difference between “I Do” and “Do I”

What’s LOVE got to do with it?        Can’t buy me love.         All You Need Is love.                      Love Me Tender.    Love is A Many Splendored Thing.

The song titles about love are as varied as opinions about what “real love” is. I can ask 10 people this question and get 10 different answers.   I was asked this question recently and had a hard time getting what was in my heart past the vast library in my head. (a problem in and of itself)

Although I have not experienced “real love” in this life that was sustained and lasting.  This might make you question my credibility. (You’ll have to take a number and get in line on that one!) I have had one momentary glimpse of love and found that   it is exactly the kind of love that I am hoping for.  It’s the kind whose root is buried deep in my heart and so beautiful I will have a hard time describing it here but hope to before the end of this post. The kind that Christ has for the church and a man should have for a woman and vice versa.

I have always felt like a misfit in this area. I absolutely love my life and what GOD has done working in my heart. I am content so I don’t mean that in a bad way but in this way. I don’t fit the mold or pattern most box love in with. I just can not love the way conventional wisdom dictates love.  If any of you remember Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer you probably remember

The Island of Miss Fit Toys

Even though the animals on the island are different individual toys in their own right, they have been discarded because they do not fit the normative.  They are wonderful toys that someone has decided were useless. They are not useless but have banded together to commiserate. What a waste. I am so thankful GOD has taught me to be a “misfit” in the world instead of alone. To celebrate the life he gave me and to honor that gift with real intentional living.  No island for me.

When I find that love it will answer this question.

“Is this the kind of love God meant when he created Adam and Eve. The kind between two people that truly reflects his love for us? (The I Corinthians 13 kind of love) or are you settling for less than God’s immeasurably more than anything you can ask or imagine?” ~Lacretia Noble

Ephesians 3:20

Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us

Ok hang on to this with me for a second because I want to share what is in my heart what love is to me. I think this verse sums it up. I believe strongly in the parallel between GOD’s love for the church and our love for each other. I am talking about all love but in this instance in particular the love between a man and a woman.  That is the love parallel.

Look at the verse above.  Can you see the Father’s heart?  Can you see the heart we need to have for someone we love. I’ll be honest! I don’t know everything in the world.

To quote Forest Gump.

“I’m not a smart man… but I know what love is”

I do know what love is. I do know that GOD is the essence of love. I know that in that verse above I can sum up what love is to me. If this verse were to describe how my love should look (because I believe God’s Word should play out in our lives as we have the mind of Christ) it would say this.

Debra’s way of loving is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we (my mate) ask or think according to God’s love that flows out from her.

In other words. The love I want to offer is flowing from me like a stream flowing toward the goal of depositing love into someone else’s bank. The stream originates with GOD and doesn’t flow backwards. It doesn’t expect to flow backwards. It doesn’t condition itself on another stream flowing into it. In real life when a stream gets caught up on areas that impede its flow, you have white water. Rapids that can be rough and have angst emotionally speaking. Real love doesn’t have angst. It flows  fluidly without being forced.  My heart seeks to say… let me serve you and make your life better.  My goal is the verse “the heart of her husband doth safely trust in her” from Proverbs 31.  Real love always serves without expecting to be served.

We sometimes confuse the notion that with GOD we have to work for his love. We cite the verse “faith without works is dead” but here’s the thing. We do this in our relationships too. REAL love doesn’t have to ever be earned. It’s a free gift just as GOD’s love is a free gift.

When we really love someone it goes out from us without friction, reservation and over thinking.  Love  always seeks  … how can I do exceedingly abundantly more…. It’s as natural as that verse.  Now unto him that is able… GOD is able to love and can love through me.

Now comes the sex question.  Don’t pretend that sex isn’t great or that people don’t love pleasure they do!!! Here’s a fun exercise. Take the world LOVE out of the song titles I listed and replace it with lust. They would read like this.

What’s lust got to do with it?   lol everything..

Can’t buy me lust.     Yes you can!

All You Need Is lust.    and more and more and more…

Lust Me Tender.  don’t call me I’ll call you!!!

Lust  is A Many Splendored Thing.    splendor me some more baby!

Lol judge me for saying that….. but its true and the truth doesn’t care what we think.

Even GOD pleasures in creating us to glorify him.  So let’s be real about that. The problem is that sex muddies up the stream.  Those titles surely defame the love we want and expose the lust we get. When a person involves the body with the heart. The body takes over and the heart loses it way.  This has me questioning how deeply I want to be loved. It has me believing with all my heart that relationships fail when they open this door before the love has settled in their hearts. It has me believing that this is how we have totally screwed up love and is what causes us to settle for someone instead of be authentic and wait until we have “real love.” This puts the heart on the back burner and the physical passion on the front burner and just leaves love simmering until all the water evaporates from the pan. Then heaven help us we have a love container that is empty and will look to be filled at another well. “stolen waters are sweet” This is why we stick to our loving Father’s plan. We stick to what brings passion and worship to sex.  We have sex inside of marriage where it can be all that is glorious as well as pleasurable. This is where I stand after making this mistake and suffering the consequences.

I’m finding my way in hoping for love in a world that values little. I know my Father loves me unconditionally.  I do pray for God’s will about a mate.  It may or may not happen in this life. But there is coming a day when it will be as it should be.  Until then, I will freely love those I can in this life as GOD crosses my path with them in friendships. Yet that one true love who wants to grow old with me racing toward the finish line,  I will not marry  unless it can answer the question above. Settling is not an option. I have the tee shirt and coffee mug on that. Real love will encompass what I have hoped for and dreamed for all of my life.  I believe GOD will bring a loving man across my life if HE wills.  Until then the hope I have is that one day I will see God and will no longer need that question.

NOW GO LOVE SOMEONE!

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