The Economics of Sex <– Click to view before reading.
Although this is an economic lesson and it does speak of the mechanics of our culture today. The price of crossing this line is more than most can pay. We become relationally dysfunctional and muddy up the most amazing plan of God by having sex outside of marriage. Consequences are a powerful teacher when we do not do the next right thing. Not to be self righteous at all because I’ve been there. I would say this one thing was what I’ve regretted the most in my life as a Christian to believe I was more loved by not abstaining. Just typing this makes me cringe. Yet only for a moment. It doesn’t matter anymore more who I was, what I did or what people think about me! The temporal details of my past do not matter at all. Who I am and who I become is where the race is run. That’s where my life rests now. I can’t even justify the good I have done in my life compared to the goodness of God so there’s no flag to wave saying YAY! look at me and what I did. How I finish matters the most. From NOW to eternity. I am a woman with a past who has a God molding her a beautiful future.
Sex before marriage = I am not a test drive don’t even ask.
Again not because I am holy but because God is Holy and wiser than me and knew that what was needed most for this daughter in life is unconditional love. Once sex enters the scene everything becomes conditional unless you have a covenant that defines your love as a gift and everything on the table as a gift. All gifts are freely given and received without strings and pain. All good gifts come from the Father of Lights. James 1:17 with whom there is no variableness. What a solid love commitment from GOD to us….. So for me, I have nothing to lose in this life by hiding any aspect of my past. Yet, there may be someone reading this who can find strength to abstain, who can find joy in being single and waiting, who can even find that your self worth climbs to the top of the charts by knowing you are a beloved Daughter of the MOST HIGH GOD and that one day your body will be a gift to a man who marries you and decides to journey with you the rest of your lives together. Maybe a man will read this and find strength and grace to have that covenant as well. The bottom line for me will be a marriage that begins with friendship and grows to a covenant that will include a banquet table full of wonderful gifts to bless each other with as we both race as one.
Our God is a God of second chances and sometimes those second chances come right away and some take years. When I try in my own strength to help that is when my intentions may be good but my method may be faulty. When we do not wait on God this is bound to happen. We have to really look inside for the answer and seek the Lord. I would not hurt anyone for anything in this world. I would sooner cut off my own arm. I love people and I know why God hates divorce. The aftermath it creates takes years to overcome. When you see another person really in the midst of the war it is heartbreaking. Your heart remembers the pain and there’s nothing you want more than to right the universe for them. You want their family to survive because their story hits so close to home and yours didn’t survive. You want to spare them pain and you really do have to be careful that you don’t get yourself in the way. One of my own rules was to let the weaknesses be God’s business. God wants us to put the past behind. There are times I am assigned by GOD to help and those times work out for good and his glory. Then there are times my heart leaps to action before GOD has assigned me and those times always end in a huge lesson for me. Discernment is something you always have to practice. The price is always high when we do not wait patiently for the Lord. I learned the hard way that anytime I run ahead to help where GOD hasn’t intended that I help the price that I pay is that I forsake my own mercy. Jonah 2:8 Sadly humbling!
“The Lord is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him. For he understands how weak we are; he knows we are only dust. Our days on earth are like grass; like wildflowers, we bloom and die. The wind blows, and we are gone- as though we had never been here. But the love of the Lord remains forever with those who fear him. His salvation extends to the children’s children of those who are faithful to his covenant, of those who obey his commandments!’. Psalm 103: 13-18
We had just left a beautiful scenic harbor heading back to my apartment. I had friends with me in a 2 car caravan and suddenly the vibration in my car became severe and we all heard a loud pop. My rear tire had blown. If you know anything of Dallas you know on an interstate this could be deadly. I calmly pulled the car to the side of the road and proceeded to figure out what to do next. Unfortunately the lugs were torqued too tight and three grown men couldn’t get them off. We are talking hefty men standing on the lug wrench, using 4 ways and cheater bars. I decided to send some of my guest to my apartment and keep them out of harms way using the second car.
One bent lug wrench and 2 hours later we waited on the police to help us get off the highway. All the plans for the evening were changed. It was close to midnight before the police finally came. They were great following me as I drove my poor car to my home which was 1/4 mile from the blow out. It was more than ironic that I was almost home and could see my front door across the interstate. So much went through my mind as I thought about my guest and hoped they all were ok and not too disturbed by the events.
The next day a guy came over with a breaker bar and 19mm socket and with great ease he loosened the lugs. I had soaked them overnight in WD40 but he credited the success with having the right tools.
Here’s the parallel I drew in my mind. I was almost home but the blow out challenged my journey. I could see my destination. I couldn’t get there because I had an unexpected storm and was not adequately prepared for it. I had tools that were tucked away for such a day but they were inadequate and I had no experience using them since I had purchased this car. They were cheap, used improperly (we broke a 3/8 socket wrench and bent the lug wrench) and the wrong choice for the job. Isn’t life like that? We go off with the wrong tools and when the storm comes we are ill-equipped to handle it. It was very dangerous in Dallas on I-30 that night. Cars flew by as I stood there on the highway. Each tool failed and we were all still stranded.
God has promised to equip us for this journey. The best way to be prepared is to know him intimately by His Word and His Spirit. I can’t overstate the value of staying under the influence of the Word. It will be the tool that sustains you on days where a blow out changes everything. Things in life will cause a change in direction but not destination. I could clearly see the finish line, my front door but the tools I had to get there wouldn’t work and I had to accept an alternative route. The truth is useless unless it changes you. Use the truth you have been given to help you when a blow out in life occurs so you won’t be stranded waiting on someone or something to help you out. Accept that there might be another way so that you are open to leading and teaching when the way you have isn’t working.
I have to tell you a quick story. A few years ago, I went to my car for lunch as I do each day. It’s a great time alone to visit with the Lord or gather my thoughts for the day. It was hot enough that I wanted to turn on the air to cool the car down before turning it off. The blower motor made a horrible noise, sounded like a washing machine out of balance. I thought aaack blown bearing. I turned it off and after work I rode home with no air. Funny the little things we forget to be grateful for. When I got home I called mechanics who wanted around 250 for pulling and installing a new motor. I couldn’t do that because I didn’t have the money and because I always try to fix things first before spending that kind of money.
So in the evening I went to pull the motor myself. I got the motor down and it was hanging by its connections, probably should have disconnected them first. I saw a little fuzz between one of the squirrel cage blades. I pulled on it and out came a leg. I screamed aaaaaaaaaaack. Then after what looked like an end zone celebration dance to the neighbors Mr. Mouse was out. Poor thing he had been beat to death. That was probably not a fair and just sentence for eating through the leaf guard above the motor.I am reminded that Eve ate Adam out of house and home and brought death upon the world. (that was a random thought lol )My little adventure is over and I have only to replace the screen with some ¼ wire mesh. Thank you Lord! Guess my little heart thinks about things even rats. That little fellow made his way through a maze of dark vents to finally get to the end of the road. Instead of seeing the mesh as a roadblock he ate right through it to his death. How many times have we persisted the same way? Instead of turning back to where it was right with GOD and safe in the Father’s care we plow through to our own way to be wounded even close to destroyed by wrong things.Just a thot. I have been there. The Bible says a man does what he thinks is right in his own eyes. This gal has learned every time I do what I think is right in my own strength I am gambling like the rat in my car.
Has anything ever knocked you so far off balance you have a hard time finding center again. I remember a couple of times as a kid playing a game of red rover where you form two human chains of kids and call one out at a time to break the chain. I remember Coley, we affectionately called “Coleslaw” who was the guy everyone was scared of at my elementary school. He was just a big guy. When he was called I knew my arm was about to be broken. Everyone knew Deb was “the weakest” link. So of course here comes Coleslaw, the playground felt like it was booming under my feet. Yep, he was gonna take the easy route and go between me and a guy who had a death grip on my forearm. Although my heart was pounding and I knew I was going to wind up on the ground. I held on tightly dreaming to be the one who kept coleslaw from breaking through this time. Yep, you guessed it. There I was in my little plaid jumper, steely eyed and ready to rumble………… then …………BAM……… there I was looking at the clouds. ……….. Man did that hurt!!!! I couldn’t breathe …… my arm was wrenched and yikes ……..now everyone is watching me …….. why not they watched it happen. Still can’t breathe trying to catch my breath. Seconds seemed like hours. Finally, a breath, a sigh, the pain…..yep the tears……. but not boo hoo tears just something in my eye. lol…….. ok lets line up and do this again. Such is red rover……but it’s not funny when you play red rover with your life. God did not plan for us to be knocked down and the breath knocked out of us all of our lives. …….. Time to grow,,,,,,,,time for grace……… time to read the Word…….. time to live………
We will only have the intimate good shepherd relationship with God that we should have by getting to know the shepherd’s voice which is expressed in His WORD.
The worlds wisdom is like Coleslaw……. headed to knock us off our feet. God’s wisdom……found in His Word is like Life, water, bread, ………..everyday we choose life or death…………
Are you calling Coleslaw to come knock the wind out of your sails???? Are you lying on the ground wondering why relationships don’t work and why you are wounded and hurting?
Stop playing with your life…… in the playground of the world…….
PS. Coleslaw became a great godly man and father later……. I was honored to teach with his wife at a Christian School in SC and to see such a gentle giant.