Thankfulness

Open the eyes of my heart Lord.

Sometimes you just have to stop, be grateful, understand God is good no matter what happens and see his glory. The glory of God is the outward manifestation of his holiness. Bottom line, HE is HOLY. I can trust HIM. He will always be GOD and is immutable. Never changing means I don’t have to guess my way through this hard life. I can know that I know that I know that HE loves me. I can’t walk away from that fact. I am honor bound to Him. My hope, my calling (which God says it without repentance) and my entire life being is wrapped up in my God who is who he says he is and who loves me more than I can comprehend. There’s no quitting with that behind me and only grace for what lies before.

Ephesians Chapter 1

¹⁷ That the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give unto you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of him:

¹⁸ The eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that ye may know what is the hope of his calling, and what the riches of the glory of his inheritance in the saints,

¹⁹ And what [is] the exceeding greatness of his power to us-ward who believe, according to the working of his mighty power,

²⁰ Which he wrought in Christ, when he raised him from the dead, and set [him] at his own right hand in the heavenly [places],

²¹ Far above all principality, and power, and might, and dominion, and every name that is named, not only in this world, but also in that which is to come:

I was listening to this song Make My Life a Prayer to You today. God’s love is truly amazing. All that he has done to secure our salvation and to also provide a way to know him intimately is truly the most well orchestrated plan to save man that could ever be created.  I read his living and loving WORD and find in it all that I truly need to know in this life.  Yet he is gracious to know my heart and know that the loneliness that comes and goes through me sometimes exists because he created me to love and be loved.

He knew this when he came down in the garden and saw that Adam was alone and it was not a good thing. I am so thankful that God doesn’t come at me with catch phrases about contentment when I talk to him about this. Instead his Word says he knew me and formed me and that as a Father he gives good gifts to his children. He says that he began a good work in me and will complete it. He comforts me with the “knowing” that he has all of it covered.

I want to praise him and thank him before you for being the very most high God who says he is touched by what touches me. What an intimate amazing relationship to have that touches my heart in deep places I can’t find words for. My eyes find tears for those words though. I can hardly see to type this. I can’t wait to see him face to face. I am overwhelmed by the most amazing filling love that blows my comprehension right off the charts.

I think that is what is so captivating about God. Only God could love a little sinner girl like me who just came from the most simple unassuming means. I feel like a miracle to have been born into this world and in my childhood circumstance to have been saved let alone loved by my Father in heaven. That’s what is so precious about God, that he could love me. I am amazed by that fact.

If I died tomorrow I would die knowing I am his and he is mine. If you don’t know this please contact me I will tell you how God can save you like he did me. 

Sitting here before you in this beautiful moment in awe and gratitude. There’s instrumental music playing, my lights are down low and my little corner of the world is cozy and warm.

There’s so much to be grateful for.

The most precious gift in life I have ever had are my two children who love the Lord and that have their Momma’s heart. My life has been filled with so many precious things. For 17 years I was able to teach some of the sweetest children on earth, for 20 years I was able to be a wife and for life I am a mom.

Being a mom is the greatest accomplishment of my entire life. I remember looking at my girls when they were born. It was so precious to watch them sleep and check a million times to see if they were breathing. They never knew I was even in the room. My heart ached when theirs did, and still does. I remember seeing my oldest singing from the hymnbook while sitting on her play gym outside the kitchen window. She was crying. When I asked her why she was crying her words were. “I’m singing so pretty I am blessing myself” I hid that in my heart. Knowing their journey now years later, it brings tears. My oldest is a thinker and her dreams have always been huge.

I remember my youngest and her sense of individuality. She loved big hats and her grandma gave her a few. I still see my little girl in the lunch line at school in those big floppy hats. It was her style and her statement. She was my hugger baby. She hugged everyone she met. My youngest is a romantic and her dreams are always about how she can love and serve others or be loved in return.

If I never do anything else in this life or have any blessings in the future, being a mom to Laura and Katie was my Super Bowl.

Teaching high school was such a fantastic privilege. I loved seeing the kids go on to serve the LORD and love him. I wanted the same things for them my own children had. I wanted them to know God’s love and perfect peace in the storms. I loved seeing their lives unfold and little families. Wow! How far many have come and how precious they have been. I will never forget 10 years ago getting about 60 letters on a very dark day in my life from each of them. They wanted to bless me with a waterfall of grace from their loving hearts because they cared. I still have those letters.

Being a wife was an honor. No matter how it ended I still wouldn’t have wanted to miss the journey. Planning, hoping, dreaming, loving, sharing and serving were exciting to me and I miss doing that. I miss decorating the house for every season and trying to make it a home. The laughter and love still echo in my heart. I still consider the privilege something to be thankful for.

All of the things above are great honors. I know that all that these things can all change in a moment. They did for me. Yet I am grateful and this moment is just about God catching me up on that gratitude. I love the verse James 1:17, It says every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness neither shadow of turning.

All of those things may change in our lives. People vary with their feelings and emotions from the damage this world slings on us. No one is immune and the losses are real and painful. Our Father doesn’t change and that is my peace. I know that whatever comes my way is good and perfect for me. I know he can even turn my tragedy into triumph. He can use my mistakes and make them a message. He can take my weakness and turn it into willingness and my sorrow into surrender.

He’s my Father and I trust him completely even when it doesn’t make sense to me. This is a time that life doesn’t make sense and I have perfect peace anyway. I guess that is because I know that I know that He loves me and cares beyond my own comprehension. Just as I checked on my daughter a million times to see if she was breathing, God says he holds my life in his hands and no one can take it. He’s always there for me.

I am thankful as he graciously blesses me with his perfect gifts. I may not see them right away. Life is just too precious to waste or wish away. Thank you Father for loving me. I love the song Hold Me Jesus and I love Phil Keaggy on the guitar as well. This is for anyone who is beginning the journey of divorce and who are ok on the outside but who are inside still falling off the cliff. Divorce challenges your faith and peace like nothing else can. My heart aches for you but I am a testimony that you will get safely home. There’s grace in the loving arms.

I raise my hand in praise saying you are my GOD, you are my Father, you are Holy and worthy of all praise. Even in my weakest moment you are my strength. I love you, I praise you, I am in amazement of your attributes and character that lay for me a firm foundation that I can stand upon. Mighty wings that I can rest under. Forever I sing your praises and understand your unfailing love for this wretched saint. I am reminded that your WORD is true and you are faithful to it. I am reminded that this life is temporal and that eternally you and you alone are my hope of GLORY. IN the storm you promise to be there even if I try to run to the depths of hell you will not leave me oh my GOD. No matter how dark things can be you are light. What else can I do but raise my hands and say …….. You are worthy because of who you are, I give you glory honor, praise, and say with my complete heart I thank you.

Father I don’t understand all that is happening but I adore you and know you are my hiding place, strong tower, refuge, and rock that is higher than I. This lamb is calling her Shepherd … with a grateful heart that I will always be a sheep needing you. I need you OH GOD. In Jesus name Amen.

This started out on my facebook but grew too big to put there. Ya know, sometimes you get to a place you just have to praise when you don’t really feel, or know what else to do. I wanted to start my day with praise and share it because HE is worthy. I am reminded of most of what I wrote over the last few months. As my writings become my life going from what I have learned in my head to what I understand in my heart I see God’s character and my own and find that I lack and still have much polishing to become a diamond out of the rough. God bless you all…